God's Will
by joelcoxriley
Summary: If it was God's Will to destroy everything she held dear in this world, she would forgive Him. But she would not forgive Him if He took the man she admired most away from her. He is Jerusalem's blood, and when his heart ceases to beat, Jerusalem shall die with her King. Random one shot.


**This is a rather random one shot I had in my head, and since I couldn't get it out of my head I wrote it down. And then I didn't know what to do with it so I put it on here. Enjoy?**

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"Arella...is that you?" Arella froze as the man upon the bed spoke, the air wheezing in and out of his shallow lungs that could be heard in the still night air. The King's chamber was dark, the beautiful linen tapestries lying completely still on the windows, the moon illuminating gentle rays that had shown the outline of a frail body upon the bed.

Arella stayed completely still, not daring to breathe as she saw the moonlight reflect off the silver mask of her King, his attire an earth brown with the faintest hints of black, as if he were awaiting his own death-which in truth, he was.

The woman felt her blood freeze. She had never expected him to be awake in the dead of night. She realized how much Baldwin needed his rest, and was frightened to see him during the day since she could never tell his sleeping patterns. Arella had guessed that by night the Leper would be in a deep sleep, and that she could go visit under the shadows, if only for a little while. To her dismay, however, the man seemed to be fully awake and could even hear her soft footfalls.

"M...My King?" Arella asked, her voice soft and waving slightly as she listened only to silence, her ears picking up upon hearing a faint chuckle.

"I know your voice." Baldwin spoke, turning his head in her direction, but Arella knew that he could not see her.

"Is there something you wish of me?" Arella asked once more, voice soft, as if speaking to a child. She could hear Baldwin sigh gently as his chest lowered before slowly rising up again.

"Come closer. Let me see your face." The man breathed, voice sounding breathless, as if the young man was in pain or too weak to speak.

Without a second's thought, Arella closed the distance between them, her pace swift with worry while trying to be as quiet as she could. The woman stopped in front of the large bed, her face sullen and haunted with shadow as she gazed down at the man. Baldwin slowly turned his head to look at the girl, and while Arella was unsure if he could see her with his failing sight she could undoubtedly see the pain and tiredness in his eyes.

Arella swallowed, fighting back the lump that was forming in her throat as her lips pierced together. Even with all the sleeping spells Baldwin seemed to take, Arella knew that sleep was not what her King needed, craved. He was sick of suffering, sick of waiting for death to claim him. Yet it appeared as if he did not fully wish to die.

"Hello." Arella was ripped out of her thoughts as she heard the man's voice, her eyes focusing upon his steel face. Arella paused, struggling as she suddenly found her mouth too dry to speak.

"Hello." Arella spoke, voice faltering to barely a whisper as she struggled to force a smile to grace her lips.

"How did you sleep?" Arella asked gently, seeing the man's throat move underneath the white bandages as he cleared his throat.

"I had a dream." Baldwin stated softly, the young woman looking upon her King with sadness.

"What was the dream?" The woman asked, Baldwin pausing, as if trying to remember.

"Of what could have been."

Arella bit her lip at that simple statement, her eyes beginning to well as a whirl of emotions began to spin in her mind. The young woman's breath began to hitch softly as she closed her eyes, covering them with a single hand. She could not stop the painful wrench that her heart emitted as it skipped a beat before pumping faster.

The woman had fought her hardest to prevent the tears from falling down her face. She had promised herself that she would not cry in front of the man she loved, promised herself that she would not make herself look like a fool again. No matter how hard she fought the tears, however, she could not fight the lump that had formed so largely in her throat that it felt like she could not breathe. She was grieving him. She was already mourning her King whom had yet to pass.

"Why do you grieve?" Arella's eyes flicked to Baldwin, his eyes locked onto her as Arella took a moment to calm down, her breath shaking, "For your father?"

"For you." The young woman replied, voice shaken as she nodded her head slightly, "And Father."

"I see." Baldwin exhaled with a slight sigh, his head cocking to the side as the room fell silent once more. If the man wanted to say more, it appeared as if he did not even have the strength.

"You...you need your rest, my liege. Rest." Arella cooed softly, Baldwin turning his gaze from her as he turned his head to look at the window. Looking upon her King, Arella could not help but wonder if he could even see the light of the moon. It was a shame if he could not. It was such a beautiful night.

"I have been resting for days, and I am tired of it. It just is a matter of when..." Baldwin answered softly, Arella averting her gaze from the man to the moon and few stars she could see through the window.

She could not help but think of her father as she looked out upon the stars. He loved stars, as did Isolde, her mother. On his finals hours, her father had laid outside among the stars, watching them, perhaps...counting them or looking for constellations. Those stars and the moon were the only things that had given the broken family light that night. The moon and stars were the last things her father had seen before drifting off into a slumber that he would never wake up from.

That night, Arella had hugged her father, listened to the faltering beating of his heart, praying that each beat would not be his last. She had hoped that God had heard her prayers to save her father, hoped that He was just late with her answer. But He never came. God never answered her prayers and saved her father.

Jordan, her father, had passed away that night in his sleep. And Arella could not stop sobbing when she heard his heart's last beat. She could not stop crying after she realized his heart had stopped. God had taken away everything she had known ever since she was a child, and now it seemed that God was willing to do so again. If that was truly His will, then Arella could not bring herself to stay in a city under a God that had taken away the man she loved the most. For in her eyes, in this Kingdom of Heaven, Baldwin truly was the only pure and holy thing in this city. And when her King dies, Jerusalem shall die with him.

"Your father was a good man. He raised a beautiful woman." Baldwin spoke, Arella turning her gaze to the man, "I shall give him my regards, and tell him that his daughter is safe."

"Do not speak like that." Arella ordered, heart breaking at the realization that she would have to relive the nightmare.

"Please...do not say that." Arella begged, tears beginning to alter her vision as the Leper turned his head towards her, chest slowly rising up and down. Arella shook her head gently, still refusing to cry.

"It is true. All of us shall die in time. Some just...sooner than others. No mortal man under God can escape death." Baldwin spoke, voice faltering slightly, and the man sounded exhausted as the woman looked upon him with sorrow.

"Yes...you are right." Arella stated, piercing her lips together as silence once again fell over the chamber. For a brief moment, Arella's heart had seized at the thought that the man she loved had suddenly passed upon seeing his chest fail to rise, stilling. Relief set in, however, when the Leper released a deep sigh, and his rhythmic breathing returned to a slow yet steady pace. A shaky breath rushed passed Arella's lips, one that she failed to realise that she had been holding in.

"My lord, is there...something you would require me to do?" Arella asked, struggling to hide the worry and terror in her voice, watching as the man blinked a few times, as if debating on a response.

"Lie with me, here, tonight. Please." Arella blinked a few times, taken aback by the man's order-no, request. He was asking her.

Without much thought, Arella walked to the side of the bed that was not occupied, looking at the man briefly before lowering her body onto the bed, hearing the mattress creek underneath her weight. Taking her time to get comfortable and not cause too much disturbance, Arella lay prone, a space between their bodies as she was overcome with the strong scent of medicinal ointments.

"Thank you." Baldwin breathed, releasing a deep breath, Arella wincing as she heard the rasp of his lungs.

"You are welcome." Arella replied, smiling gently before turning her head to stare at the window almost blankly, the woman's fingers interlacing on her chest as her thumbs began to twiddle.

The pair lay in silence for several minutes, Arella listening to the ragged breathing of her King, the woman finding her own breathing beginning to match the man's slower rhythm. Arella could not help but wonder how Baldwin's heart sounded. Laying next to him, listening to his breathing...it reminded the young woman of her father and of his final hours. The young woman had to stop herself from listening to her King's heart, praying that it did not have the same irregular pattern as her father's.

Thinking back to her father's final moments, Arella swallowed in an attempt to fight back the returning lump in her throat. Her father and mother...they had named her Arella which meant angel. Arella began to think that she was some sort of joke that God could laugh at. Angels were supposed to bring happiness and life, while everyone Arella had ever loved was beginning to die. Perhaps she is not an angel, but an angel of death? And her beloved King, Baldwin, would be her next victim.

The young woman was broken from her thoughts as she heard the man next to her suddenly speak, and at first, Arella thought she was just hearing things, or that the man had whispered something in his sleep. The words he had spoken startled her, and only once when the Leper was done speaking did his head turn towards the woman. She saw it in his eyes. She saw everything.

"And this is the closest I shall ever be to having you."

Tears involuntarily clouded the woman's vision and swiftly cascaded down her face, eyes wide in shock as the lump in her throat grew. A hand shot up to cover her mouth in an attempt to quiet her cries as Arella's face flushed. It was impossible for her not to cry. In that simple sentence was all the truth and regret that Baldwin had kept to himself for God knew how long.

Baldwin watched the woman beside him as she sobbed silently, the man's eyes watering slightly before looking away to stare at the ceiling.

Arella breathed in ragged breaths as she suddenly closed the space between them, laying her body next to his as she felt his warmth immediately heat up hers-which was probably from the fever. The smell of the ointment became stronger as the woman nestled her head into his nape, her fingers interlacing with his more damaged left hand.

The woman felt Baldwin stiffen slightly, as if not used to such physical contact as his breath suddenly hitched before his body relaxed. Arella was startled slightly as she felt Baldwin try to move his damaged fingers in an attempt interlock his hand even deeper with hers, but the damage and restriction of the bandages prevented him from doing so.

Touched by his efforts, Arella began to feel a new wave of tears begin to form as she squeezed his hand, the woman suddenly pulling away, hands still interlocked. Looking at the man, she smiled sullenly as a new wave of tears began to flow down her drying cheeks, to which the man wiped away with a knuckle. Arella swore that she heard a slight chuckle escape the man as she leaned into his touch.

"You already have me, Baldwin." Arella whispered softly, trying to smile as the woman leaned towards the Leper and pressed her soft lips against the cold steel lips of the silver mask.

Arella pulled away after several seconds, the color drained from her as she was unable to read the man's eyes. Smiling sullenly once more, Arella sniffed, feeling the tears dry as she gently lay her head on Baldwin's chest, as if fearful of harming him. The rhythm of his chest rising and falling brought the woman some form of comfort, like a lullaby. Her spirits rose slightly as she heard the steady pattern of his heart, beat after beat after beat. He was so strong, but his body was so frail. Arella could only hope that her deepest fears would not come true by the morning as his restful breathing sang her into death's second self, fingers still interlocked.

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**Thank you to anyone who has read this and is reading The Leper King! Poor Baldwin. May you rest in peace, my friend. You truly were an amazing King! **


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